Daily Devo - A Gospel Marriage - Day 3
Day 3 – The Four Horseman That Kill Relationships
Dr. John Gottman is a marriage expert that has been able to predict divorce with 90% accuracy based on his observations of some of the behaviors within the marital relationship.
He uses biblical language to describe these as the Four Apocalyptic Horseman which come riding into the marriage, slashing and tearing the marriage apart, and ultimately destroying the marriage. These principles can be applied to all marital relationships.
Horseman #1 - Criticism. This is when someone is constantly pointing out someone else’s problems, weakness, short comings, or faults in an unloving or disrespectful manner.
Horseman #2 - Contempt. This is being rude or disrespectful with words or actions or using body language, eye-rolling, mocking, or mimicking. It’s trying to make the other person feel stupid, inadequate, or inferior.
Horseman #3 - Defensiveness. This is about being always on the defensive, thinking, or acting in a way that indicates others are out to get them. It’s an act of self-protection whereby the person often plays the victim and acts out to avoid being attacked.
Horseman #4 - Stonewalling. This occurs when the person withdrawals, isolates, and retreats from the conflict.
You can hear more on the subject with Pastor Ryan on Facebook Live, 5 pm M-W on North Valley’s Facebook Page.