Gospel Centered Marriages: The Respectful Wife

February 10, 2013 Pastor: Ryan Rice Series: Gospel Centered Marriages

Topic: Gospel Centered Marriages Scripture: Ephesians 5:24–5:33

PT2: Gospel-Centered Marriage: The Respectful Wife:
...let the wife see that she respects her husband. - Ephesians 5:33

• The mine fields of marriage

Despite your mine fields promise to give unconditional love & respect.

• The problem is sin. “Disrespectfulness is a disregard for God’s design”
• The solution is the gospel. “We need grace to keep going”
“A Gospel-Centered Marriage is the mysterious reflection of
the relationship between Christ and the Church for the glory of God.
...let the wife see that she respects her husband. - Ephesians 5:33
Respect “is to regard, to notice, to honor, prefer, defer to, encourage or admire”
-Grace Driscoll, Real Marriage


#1 Church Respects
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their
husbands. (Ephesians 5:24)
Submission here means to yield to, to be subject, to the husband’s servant leadership.

#2 Christ Respects
For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent
me. (John 6:38)
For I have not spoken on my own authority, but the Father who sent me has himself
given me a commandment—what to say and what to speak. (John 12:49)
He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he
upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat
down at the right hand of the Majesty on high..(Hebrews 1:3)
• Equal in value different in role

# 3 Creation Respects
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27)
• God designed mankind to be equal in value yet different in roles.
Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him
a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18, cf. Ge 3:16, cf. I Cor. 11:9).
• God designed wives to compliment their husbands not compete for leadership.


#1 Recognize His Role
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the
wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now
as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their
husbands. (Ephesians 5:22-24)
Action Steps:
• Start a small wins strategy to celebrate servant leadership
• Give your voice but give him veto. (never being a doormat nor a domineer)
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey
the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see
your respectful and pure conduct. (1 Peter 3:1-2)
Action Steps:
• Be responsible to Christ regardless of what happens in the relationship (Mt 22:37)
• Seek the help of the church if you have a tyrant or a wimp for a husband.

#2 Regard His Work
The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.
(Genesis 2:15)
Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
(Proverbs 31:23)
Action Steps:
• Thank him publicly and privately for his work (sos)
• Engage his ambition and mission in work by asking questions & encouraging

#3 Respond to his Desire

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the
two shall become one flesh.” (Ephesians 5:31)
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine...
Draw me after you; let us run. The king has brought me into his chambers. (SOS 1:2,4)
Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you
may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not
tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:5)

Action Steps:
• Talk openly how to serve one another’s needs weekly
• Read Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow or listen LOVE series

#1 SHARE with each other how you already give love and respect

Husbands: Share with your wife how she shows you respect and what you love
about her.

Wives: Share with your husband how he shows you love and what you respect
about him.

#2 TELL each other how to better give love and respect

Husbands: Ask your wife to tell you how you can better lovingly serve her needs.
Wives: Ask your husband to tell you how you can better respect and help his needs

More in Gospel Centered Marriages

February 3, 2013

Gospel Centered Marriages: Loving Husbands