Parenting Myth #1: Good parents don’t reveal their mistakes.
Day 1 – Parenting Myth #1: Good parents don’t reveal their mistakes.
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
Romans 3:23, ESV
The Bible shoots us straight. Everyone sins. Sin is dishonoring God, either in commission or in omission. The sin of commission is something you did, either in word or deed, that you shouldn’t have done. You lied, you stole, you cheated, etc. The sin of omission is something you didn’t do that you should have done. You should have reported the liar, the thief, the cheat, etc. Because parents are a living person, every parent sins.
The whole world has been infected and affected by sin, starting when our first parents Adam and Eve rebelled against God, and now sin has plagued every person since that time. (Romans 5:12)
Parents will sin when they are tested by their children: they will lose their cool or do something that’s unkind or unloving. Why? Because “folly is bound up in the heart of a child” (Proverbs 22:15). Kids will mess up and act foolish and do things that are harmful and hurtful to themselves and others. But to think that parents need to be perfect in order to parent them is a lie.
In fact, research shows that parents who are open and honest about their mistakes are more likely to have success as a parent and get the desired behavior they want from their kids.
“The good news is, your child does not need perfect parents. In fact, if your child sees you as perfect, he'll feel worse about himself, since he knows he's not. What your child needs from you is a model of how to be a gracious human. That means admitting when you've been wrong. Being willing to grow. Giving yourself support to do better. Working hard to regulate your own emotions instead of acting like a crazy person, no matter what your child does.”
The best thing you can do when you blow is it is to say “I am sorry”, or “please forgive me,” and then restore them with words like “I love you” and “I am proud of you!” It is essential that as Christian parents we never miss the opportunity to show our kids that we need God’s grace and forgiveness too. This will help them to see two things. Firstly, that everyone sins, including you as a parent, and themselves too! And secondly, God loves to forgive those who seek him. This is part of growing spiritually healthy as a family. These simple changes can have a powerful impact on your child’s life. Start now, and stop pretending to be perfect; rest in the reality that God sees you as you are and your kid likely does too! Everyone needs grace.